My Dad

When I was 10 years old, I gave a testimony of my mother in church. I was in Hawaii on mother’s day and I was asked to share of what kind of a mother she was, her love for her children and her sacrifices. 16 years later, this is what I have to say about my father…

His name is David Ho Wing Ip. He was born to a Chinese family of 8 children. They resided in Hong Kong and they had moderate Buddhist leanings. In such a large family, you’d expect to not get full attention from your parents. My dad was very studious. He’d tell me how he went to the library every single day to study, even during the weekends when the library was closed (the head librarian entrusted him with the keys). With his earnestness, he was accepted into the Hong Kong University (a rare privilege then).

My dad became a Christian as a young adult when he attended a bible study. One of his school teachers was talking to his fellow classmate about attending a “cha geng” (canto for bible study). My dad thought they were going to “yum cha” (drink tea and having dim sum for lunch) and followed them to their church.

My dad gave his life to Jesus after seeing how these Christians were so different from the world. His family laughed at him, his own father demanded to know why my dad would worship and pray to God for the food on the table when it was he (my grandfather) who was the breadwinner of their family. Whenever my dad prayed at the dinner table, his mom would hit him on the head for being an “idiot”. The rest of his siblings would start devouring all the food leaving him with little left to eat. But my dad grew in his faith to God.

My dad met my mom not in Hong Kong, but in the Philippines. They were both on holiday and the meeting was entirely “unforeseen”. He overheard that she went to church (and therefore probably a Christian) and that was what drew him to her. They were in their early twenties.

My parents wed and had me and my brother Paul. In the year 1989 (when I was just 7 and Paul, 3) the Tiananmen incident happened. My parents did not want me and Paul to grow up in such an environment as China would retake Hong Kong in 1997. We moved to the United States of America in a few short months after that incident. For that, my dad had to give up his well-payed job, the familiarity of his birthplace and leave all his friends and family behind. Our family left Hong Kong and migrated to Hawaii, truly paradise on earth.

Money was scarce, friends even more so. But we had each other and the church we went to had many friendly and loving brothers and sisters which took us into their church family. And for a time, things went well. In 1991, the Japanese “bubble” economy exploded, dragging the US economy with it. Many lost their jobs, one of them my dad. He had just put down the down payment for an apartment for us to live in. With desperate prayers and just enough money left to buy an air ticket, my dad left for Hong Kong to find a job. He left my mom, me and my brother behind in Hawaii while he went to Hong Kong alone so as to provide for us.

My childhood in Hawaii was very memorable and full of great tales of friendship and of God’s many blessings. My dad continued to slave away in Hong Kong. His work was hard and taxing and required him to travel often. He stayed at his parent’s place while he was in Hong Kong. He often worked till late in the night and returned home to a dark house, cold food on the table and everyone in the house already in bed. Overseas call was very expensive. So my parents communicated mostly by recording their words with an audio tape and sending that over. My whole family could’ve gone back to Hong Kong to be with my dad. But the decision had been made years ago; the children will grow up away from that place. This was my father’s love.

I saw my dad during the summer holidays and during Christmas (if I was lucky). On those few occasions it was a joyous reunion with many hugs and kisses. But only after a short while, he would be gone. I still remember the farewells. I also remember one thing. Something not so good. On one of those rare trips of my dad, I did something really naughty. I can’t remember what it was but my dad became so angry that he threw and broke my model battleship. Then he started whipping me with the cane. I was crying, angry and couldn’t understand why he would do this to me. He was angry and crying too. I found that totally illogical. Wasn’t I the one being caned? His words and I still remember it to this day, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Only much later do I understand that it was not only that my dad was hurt that he was causing me this pain. My dad was hurting because he loved me and wanted me to grow up well and obedient.

My dad lived without his wife and children by his side for about 4 years. The little children he left behind were now teenagers. My mom, me and Paul had obtained the almighty American passport and it was decided that the family have to be together again. So with my father’s new job assignment, we moved to Singapore. There are of course many things that happened there too. At this present time, my parents are in Tianjin, I am still in Singapore and Paul is in Australia.

Yesterday on Father’s Day, the speaker at church spoke of how many fathers do not spend time with their children and do not have a healthy relationship with their own spouse. He encouraged the father’s to aspire to be better fathers. My thoughts were that my father was already great! My dad has worked as an executive, as a director, as a VP, etc.. but he has always tried to make time to be with his family. He would often ask his children to go for a family trip. We turned him down usually..

My dad was also highly active in church service. He loves music and has dedicated much time into church worship services and in choir. He was also in the church council. My mom would assist him with the song arrangements and his many other activities. Truly a husband-wife team dedicated to the Lord. Even in Tianjin, they continue in their work. Despite being past their prime, they serve even more in the church. My dad told me on my recent trip there, “These days, too many people tell you to do what they say and not what they do. But this was not the way. According to 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul urges the Corinthian church to ‘follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.’” There have been much debate over the 1 Timothy passages concerning the requirements of an overseer and of deacons. The much discussed being “above reproach”. It is possible to be so. Or maybe very near it as I see my father approaching it day by day.

My dad is of course by no means, perfect. He has his faults like all humans do. But he is from my view, a role model father. All that he is was of course not my doing. His son can only speak fondly of him and not be able to take credit for the father’s love upon him. I cannot but wonder how, coming from such a background as his, my dad can be who he is. I will be sure to ask him after I have finished writing this. Although it must surely be the grace of God!

Thinking of what my father has done for me has also reminded me of the One who gave me this father, God. And while thinking of how much my earthly human father has done for me was great, I can’t but help ponder how much more my heavenly Father has done for me. How much He has cared, nurtured and loved me. How my human father is only a pale comparison to what God the Father really is.

My dad has been a great influence in my life. He was not physically with me for a large part of my life. But what he has done for me, Hhs love for his spouse, his many sacrifices, and his very absence a testimony of his love is the best example to me of how to lead my future family. The speaker (from yesterday) also spoke to dads to not neglect their children, to not be hypocritical as their children would grow up to be just like these dads. But I want to say that my dad loves his family truly in word and deed, and I want to be just like you dad. Happy Father’s Day. I love you daddy.